My second Faith & Family Business series considers the book of Proverbs. Though written thousands of years ago, these proverbs still have a timeliness and power today. My aim is to consider these maxims in the context of our current experience of living and working with family members. Thanks for your feedback and sharing this post with others.
Conflict is a common occurrence in life, in families, and especially in family businesses. I plan to offer several conflict-themed reflections over the next few weeks, and to get us started, Proverbs points out how difficult conflict can be to work through.
A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle. (Prov. 18:19)
When someone you work or live with (including you) is offended or upset, it can be very tough to move forward with them. Their stance might be aggressive, defensive, or even passive, but the point is that you have difficulty working together. You can’t get past the original offense or conflict. The image of a ‘strong city’ in battle, or ‘castle bars,’ suggests a significant, almost unalterable separation.
Any business requires communication, coordination, and people working together. In family businesses, where family members are seen as leaders, conflict between them not only impacts their personal effectiveness and mental health, but also their communication and relationships with customers, employees, and vendors. (Non-family actors have to navigate both sides of the castle bars!) The first step in managing conflict involves admitting it exists.
Have you experienced the ‘unyielding’ stance of an upset family member? When there has been a conflict, has it been acknowledged by all?