Faith & Family Business
Jacob, Esau, and Self-Hatred (Genesis 25:34 - Again!)
Welcome to my weekly Faith and Family Business reflections, where I (briefly) probe important questions that arise in family business – questions relating to behavior, relationships and legacy – from the angle of a Biblical story. For more information about this series, click here.
In last week’s reflection, I focused on the value of the family business. This week, using the same verse, I ponder why Esau would “despise” his birthright.
“Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank, and rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his gift.” (Gen. 25:34)
Bill Long, a friend and biblical scholar, says the word for “despise” in Hebrew is “bazah.” It means to be “despicable,” even “vile” or “worthless.” Why would Esau treat as worthless something he knew was so valuable? Perhaps Esau realized the mistake he made and felt guilty. Perhaps he was angry at himself. Perhaps despising his birthright was really an exercise in self-loathing.
Consider how we often behave when disappointed in ourselves: We do something stupid, and then, feeling terrible, we pile on. We break one thing and become so angry we smash something else. We commit a disgraceful act, then do something more ignoble out of frustration. Taken to an extreme, alcohol and drugs turn into self-medications for guilt and humiliation, and substance abuse becomes even more destructive than the original act for which we are ashamed.
Have you ever done something you regret, and then made it worse? In your family business, how do you reinforce the idea that we all make mistakes but are still, as Henri Nouwen suggested, beloved?
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