Faith & Family Business
Seeing the best in our family business partners (2 Samuel 1:23-25)
Welcome to my third Faith and Family Business series, focusing on the Biblical King David. David’s story explores a full range of emotions and experiences in life, offering insights about ourselves and others in work and family. My hope is that your own faith, family, and understanding of your family business will be enriched by considering David's story.
King Saul, suffering from jealousy and mental torment, has been trying to kill David. But when David has the chance to kill Saul, he restrains himself. David then flees the country, and in one of Saul’s battles with the Philistines, both Saul and his son Jonathan die. When David hears the news, he mourns them:
“Saul and Jonathan, beloved and lovely!
In life and in death they were not divided;
they were swifter than eagles;
they were stronger than lions.“You daughters of Israel, weep over Saul,
who clothed you luxuriously in scarlet,
who put ornaments of gold on your apparel.“How the mighty have fallen
in the midst of the battle!” (2 Sam. 1:23-25)
For a long while, King Saul caused serious, life-and-death trouble for David. Yet when Saul passes, David recalls the best of Saul. He talks about his love for his father-in-law. He praises Saul and Jonathan’s skills. He focuses on the care Saul took for his people. He laments, instead of celebrates, the death of his enemy. Voicing that kind of praise, after years of being hunted by Saul, surely took some effort on David’s part!
In our families and family businesses, we tend to dislike, sometimes even despise, the people who cause us trouble. We can become consumed with frustration and anger. But think of other times in the relationship, when you had positive feelings. Reflect on what you accomplished together when the interaction was better. As hard as it may be, try to articulate the strengths of the person with whom you struggle. While you cannot change them, you can — as David did — choose the story you tell yourself and others about that person.
Have you ever struggled to see the good in a family member or business partner? If you were to recall the positive attributes of someone you struggle with now, what would you say?