Faith & Family Business
Jacob, Esau, and In-Laws (Genesis 26:34-35)
Welcome to my weekly Faith and Family Business reflections, where I (briefly) probe important questions that arise in family business – questions relating to behavior, relationships and legacy – from the angle of a Biblical story. For more information about this series, click here.
After trading his birthright for food, Esau’s decision-making continues to be problematic for the family.
“When Esau was forty years old, he took Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite to be his wife, and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite, and they made life bitter for Isaac and Rebekah.” (Gen. 26:34-35)
Against the wishes of his parents, Esau married not just one, but two, Hittite women. These women were different. They were not from the family’s preferred territory. They were not liked. The family strife begins immediately.
This is not uncommon today. The in-law (wife or husband) brings a different set of experiences and expectations to their new family or to the family business. They are, figuratively, from a different land. They communicate differently, make decisions from a different perspective, and approach conflict with a different style. Parents become irritated with changes to the family’s historical norms, patterns, and routines. The message is clear, whether or not communicated verbally: the spouse doesn’t fit.
Have you experienced disappointment with your children's (or even your parent’s) marital choices? Instead of remaining irritated and wishing the in-law to be different, how might you modify your expectations so that they feel accepted, and loved, by you?
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