Welcome to my weekly Faith and Family Business reflections, where I (briefly) probe important questions that arise in family business – questions relating to behavior, relationships and legacy – from the angle of a Biblical story. For more information about this series, click here.
Jacob worked for his uncle Laban for 20 years, had been tricked into marrying Leah, and cheated out of his wages. Jacob and his family fled, and when they were caught, Laban and Jacob came to an understanding.
Then Laban said to Jacob, “See this heap and the pillar, which I have set between you and me. This heap is a witness, and the pillar is a witness, that I will not pass over this heap to you, and you will not pass over this heap and this pillar to me, to do harm.” (Gen. 31:51-52)
After a difficult relationship, Jacob and Laban developed a physical boundary. The deception, frustration, and family drama came to a head, yet the family members came to an agreement about how to move forward. That agreement involved discussion, and it involved a boundary, a demarcation intended to frame their future relationship.
Family members involved in business together also need to discuss their frustrations and set boundaries for a beneficial future. If you bottle up significant aggravations, they will eventually blow the family and business apart. You also need verbal boundaries to agree on how you will talk to each other, and behavioral boundaries to clarify how you will treat each other.
Have you ever felt that a family member or in-law “crossed a line” with you? Is there someone with whom you need to have a boundary discussion?
P.S. More good resources on boundaries are on Dr. Henry Cloud’s website.