Faith & Family Business

Don’t set others up to fail (1 Samuel 18:17)

Welcome to my third Faith and Family Business series, focusing on the Biblical King David. David’s story explores a full range of emotions and experiences in life, offering insights about ourselves and others in work and family. My hope is that your own faith, family, and understanding of your family business will be enriched by considering David's story.

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In last week’s reflection, we saw King Saul attack David, but David evaded him. Now Saul tries a different, more subtle strategy to harm him:

Then Saul said to David, “Here is my elder daughter Merab. I will give her to you for a wife. Only be valiant for me and fight the LORD’s battles.” For Saul thought, “Let not my hand be against him, but let the hand of the Philistines be against him.” (1 Sam. 18:17)

Saul’s idea now is to bring David close by making him a son-in-law, then send him into battle in hopes that he will be killed. He is sabotaging or manipulating David, making him think all is well, even bringing him into the inner circle of the family, while secretly hoping (and later working) to bring about his downfall.

Partners in a modern family business may not be quite as intentional as Saul in their attempts to undermine one another, but it still happens. For example, talking negatively about your family members to key employees, or other relatives, erodes confidence in your partners. Not communicating directly about important issues, decisions, or feelings leaves people operating on unspoken assumptions — a sure recipe for conflict. And not being transparent with your transition, estate, or business plans sets up your family partners to carry false hopes and expectations, eventually creating waves of disappointment in the ownership, management, and family systems.

Have you ever witnessed an effort to undermine or discredit a family member or business partner? How might you be more direct or transparent with your intentions and communication?