Faith & Family Business
The friendship factor (1 Samuel 18:1-4)
Welcome to my third Faith and Family Business series, focusing on the Biblical King David. David’s story explores a full range of emotions and experiences in life, offering insights about ourselves and others in work and family. My hope is that your own faith, family, and understanding of your family business will be enriched by considering David's story.
After David defeats Goliath, King Saul brings David into his service, and he develops a close friendship with Saul’s son, Jonathan:
As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. (1 Sam. 18:1-4)
Jonathan and David quickly become friends, making a commitment to each other, feeling “knit to the soul” of one another. What a wonderful way to think of friendship! C.S. Lewis, in The Four Loves, describes this kind of friendship as valuable because it is the least necessary for our survival, but the most rewarding for our happiness. A true friendship falls in “that luminous, tranquil, rational world of relationships freely chosen.”
It is ironic that we sometimes feel friendless when working in a business with our relatives, those we know and love. We are surrounded by loved ones, but we sometimes feel stifled; we are embraced by them, but we sometimes feel trapped. Perhaps friendships are hard to develop because of the intertwining of ownership and management roles with family relationships. Or maybe the responsibilities of business ownership - the hours worked, necessary travel, or remote locations - become obstacles to spending time with good friends. But friendships freely chosen are important to develop inside and outside the family business. They don’t just make us happy, they are key to our longevity.
Do you have someone you would call a best friend? In the coming year, what could you do to strengthen your most important friendships?