Welcome to my weekly Faith and Family Business reflections, where I (briefly) probe important questions that arise in family business – questions relating to behavior, relationships and legacy – from the angle of a Biblical story. For more information about this series, click here.
After Jacob realizes God had spoken to him through a dream, he marks the location and promises to worship Him.
Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, so that I come again to my father's house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God, and this stone, which I have set up for a pillar, shall be God's house. And of all that you give me I will give a full tenth to you.” (Gen. 28:20-22)
Jacob spells out his hopes from God and his gifts to God. He articulates what he believes will make the relationship both bountiful and long-lasting, and what he will contribute as part of his commitment.
The same kind of communication is needed in family businesses. The problem is that we don't clearly define the terms of our relationships with each other. Because we are family and have lived with each other, we think we thereby "know” our parents, children, spouses, or siblings, and we assume they clearly understand our perspective, goals, and expectations. Or we fear awkward conversations or outright conflict with those we love as a result of directly stating what we want. Often, everyone winds up disappointed.
Is it ever hard for you to tell someone exactly what you expect of them? How might the conversation be different if you coupled what you want from them while also saying what you will give to them?
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