What’s behind the anger?
2 Samuel 6:16
Welcome to my third Faith and Family Business series, focusing on the Biblical King David. David’s story explores a full range of emotions and experiences in life, offering insights about ourselves and others in work and family. My hope is that your own faith, family, and understanding of your family business will be enriched by considering David's story.
David and his people are celebrating by bringing the Ark to Jerusalem after years of battling the Philistines. But all is not well.
As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, and she despised him in her heart. (2 Sam. 6:16)
Right in the middle of the party, trouble emerges. Michal, David's wife, is angry. The apparent reason for Michal’s anger is David’s inappropriate attire and dancing in front of other women. But consider the backstory. Michal was the youngest daughter of a mentally-tormented Saul. She helped David escape from her father when Saul wanted to kill David. Saul then had Michal married off to someone else while David was in hiding. David had other wives while he was gone. David bargained for Michal’s return as he came to power. With that backdrop, it wouldn’t be surprising to find lingering issues between them. Furthermore, David loves the Lord and is a public figure who is also loved by his people. Thus a long history and the challenges of service, publicity, and family privacy precede Michal’s outburst of anger.
Even when people are celebrating in our families and family businesses, not everything is perfect. You can have a great year in business but feel like you are falling apart as a family. Recognition of one family member’s strengths might cast a shadow over another’s disappointment or feelings of inadequacy. An increase in financial net worth can mask a decrease in the family’s relational equity. You can be surrounded by those closest to you, yet feel completely alone. This tension, a dissonance within ourselves or between others, erupts even in the middle of our success, during what appears to be a “good time.”
Have you ever experienced discord even when things are going well in the family business? How do you deal with both celebration and conflict…at the same time?