Faith & Family Business
Telling your side of the story in a conflict (Proverbs 15:28 and Matthew 7:3)
My second Faith & Family Business series considers the book of Proverbs, and within this series we are currently looking at conflict. The first post deals with admitting a conflict exists. The second post suggests you decide whether the conflict is worth resolving. The third post is about dealing directly with the other party. The fourth post is about listening. The fifth post is below. Thanks for your feedback and for sharing this reflection with others!
Our previous step in the conflict resolution process focused on hearing the other party’s perspective. Now that it’s your turn to talk, consider two instructions, one from Proverbs (which I’ve mentioned before), and one from Jesus in the book of Matthew:
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. (Prov. 15:28)
“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matt. 7:3)
A crucial step in the conflict resolution process comes when you offer your perspective on the situation. Describing your frustration and pain so that the other person hears you is vital to the process, as it gives them the chance to take responsibility for their part of the dispute. So give yourself some time to consider how you will respond to what they’ve said.
And while you are preparing to respond, recall Jesus’ words about the log in your own eye. Specifically, give thought to how your words or behavior might have contributed to the conflict. You may not have intended to hurt the other party, but what you said (or didn’t say), or how you behaved, could be seen or interpreted as an offense. When you respond, owning your potential contribution to the dispute may help you both get past the conflict.
Have you ever said something harsh, and then wished you hadn’t responded so quickly? What would have been a more effective response?